English is the global language of communication which means that when it collides with local languages it can have hilarious results. Here we’ve gathered together the results of some of the planets finest misadventures in English … enjoy!
Our wine list leaves you nothing to hope for.
We highly recommend the hotel tart.
If you are satisfactory, tell your friends.
If you are unsatisfactory, warn the waitress.
I send you my prices. If I am dear to you and
your mistress she might perhaps be reduced.
~
I am honourable to accept your impossible request.
~
Unhappy it is I here have not bedroom with bath.
A bathroom with bed I have. I can though give you
a washing with pleasure in a most clean spring with no
person to see. I insist that you will like this.
~
A vivacious stream washes my doorsteps so do not
concern yourself that I am not too good in bath.
I am superb in bed.
Stop. Drive sideways.
When passenger of foot heave in sight, tootle
the horn. Trumpet him melodiously at first,
but if he still obstacles your passage
then tootle him with vigor.
No children allowed.
Adults: 1 tablet 3 times a day until passing away.
Teeth extracted by the latest Methodists.
Ladies are requested not have children in the bar.
A place in Seville. Procession of Ball-fighters.
The roaring of balls is heard in the arena. Aria and
chorus: Toreador, Toreador. All hail the Balls of a
toreador.’ Enter Don Jose singing, ‘I besmooch you.’
Carmen repels him. He stabbs her.
Aria: ‘Oh, rupture, rupture.
Push button.
Foam coming plenty.
Big noise.
Finish.
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