As the saying goes “Out of the mouths of babes oft times come gems” … and those gems can sometimes be extremely hilarious indeed. So whilst School children no-doubt mean well and try hard — at least most of the time — a misheard phrase or misspelt word can turn school essays into a classroom comedy of errors.

In this article we’ve gathered a few together … enjoy 😀

Science

One of the most important farces is the farce that pulls things to the ground.

This farce is called gravity.

History

In wartime children who lived in big cities had to be evaporated because it was safer in the country.

Maths

The total is when you add up all the numbers and a remainder is an animal that pulls santa on his slay

History

Sometimes in the war they take prisners and keep them as ostriges until the war is over. Some prisners end up in consterpation camps.

Religious Studies

I asked my mum why we said old men at the end of prayers at skool, I don’t know any old men apart from grandpa.

Holidays

On our activity holiday Dad wanted to ride the hores, but mum said they wer too ekspensiv.

Geography

The closest town to France is Dover. You can get to France on a train or you can go on a fairy.

The Arts

… and at the end of the show we all sing away in a manager.

Geography

In geography we learned that countries with sea round them are islands and ones without sea are incontinents.

Natural History

Crabs and creatures like them all belong to a family of crushed asians.

History

Then Joan of Ark met her end. She was burned as a steak.

History

Sir Walter Raleigh circumcised the world with a big clipper.

The Arts

In last year’s Christmas concert, Linzi played the main prat. I played one of the smaller prats and I would like to have a bigger prat this year.

Religious Studies

A mosque is a sort of church. The main difference is that the roof is doomed.

Science

Helicopters are cleverer than planes. Not only can they fly through the air they can also hoover.

Maths

I would like to be an accountant but you have to know a lot about moths.

Maths

If it is less than 90 degrees it is a cute angel.

Geography

In Scandinavia, the Danish people come from Denmark, the Norwegians come from Norway and the Lapdancers from Lapland.

Religious Studies

If you marry two people you are a pigamist but morons are allowed to do this.