As well as being one of Britain’s greatest ever leaders Winston Churchill was endowed with a sharp wit and turn of phrase. His forthright expression brings across his wit succinctly. Here are just a few examples of Winnie’s wicked witticisms …



 Thrusts and Parries …


Winston : “If I valued the honourable gentlemans opinion I might get angry”

An exchange with Nancy Astor, an American-born politician in England:

Astor shouting at Churchill : “If you were my husband, I’d put poison in your coffee.”


Winston : “If I were your husband, I’d drink it.”

Bessie Braddock MP : “Winston, You are drunk, and what’s more you are disgustingly drunk.”

Winston : “Bessie, my dear, you are ugly, and what’s more, you are disgustingly ugly. But tomorrow I shall be sober and you will still be disgustingly ugly.”

David Lloyd George at a telephone booth : “Winston, loan me a penny so I may ring a friend.

Churchill elaborately searches his pockets …

Winston : “Here, David, is sixpence. Now you can ring all your friends.”

Mormon visitor when offered a whisky and soda : “May I have water Sir Winston? Lions drink it. “

Winston : “Asses drink it too.”

Second Mormon : “Strong drink rageth and stingeth like a serpent.”

Churchill : “I have long been looking for a drink like that.”




 On People …


Attlee, Clement

“He has much to be modest about.”
Clement Richard Attlee (1883-1967), Labour MP, Deputy Prime minister in the wartime coalition, Labour Prime Minister.

Baldwin, Stanley
“Occasionally he stumbled over the truth, but hastily picked himself up and hurried on as if nothing had happened.”
Conservative MP and three times Prime Minister

Halifax, Earl
“… he is one of those Christians who ought to be thrown to the lions.”
Earl Halifax – Viceroy of India 1926-31, Foreign Secretary, Ambassador to the United States 1941-46. In 192 Devout Anglo-Catholic

Hitler, Adolf
“When Herr Hitler escaped his bomb on July 20th he described his survival as providential; I think that from a purely military point of view we can all agree with him for certainly it would be most unfortunate if the Allies were to be deprived, in the closing phases of the struggle, of that form of warlike genius by which Corporal Schickilgruber has so notably contributed to our victory.
1944

McCarthy, Senator Joseph
“He’s spoiling a good cause.”
US Senator from Wisconsin 1947-57, famous for overstated claims about communists in the government.