Colemanballs – a term coined by Private Eye magazine to describe verbal gaffes perpetrated by (usually British) sports commentators.

David Coleman is a British national treasure. During his time as a BBC sports commentator he frequently got completely carried away with hillarious consequences. Here’s a round up of some of this lovely man’s heat of the moment gaffs. Plus to prove the spirit of Colemanballs is not dead in today’s British sport commentary we include some hillarious comtemporary commentator quotes and quips from his worthy successors in the art of “foot in mouth”…

He’s got his hands on his knees and holds his head in despair. .
David Coleman
For those of you watching who do not have television sets, live commentary is on Radio 2.
David Coleman
England really need to bring some impotence into the attack.
Matthew Hoggard
Sure there have been injuries and deaths in boxing – but none of them serious
Alan Minter
If history repeats itself, I should think we can expect the same thing again
Terry Venables
In terms of the Richter Scale this defeat was a force eight gale.
John Lyall
Julian Dicks is everywhere. It’s like they’ve got eleven Dicks on the field.
Metro Radio
One of the great unknown champions because very little is known about him
David Coleman
When you’ve got a mountain to climb you may as well throw everything into the kitchen sink straight away.
David Pleat
Strangely, in slow motion replay, the ball seemed to hang in the air for even longer.
David Acfield
One of the reasons Arnie (Arnold Palmer) is playing so well is that, before each tee-shot, his wife takes out his balls and kisses them – Oh my God, what have I just said?
USTV commentator
Dumbarton player Steve McCahill has limped off with a badly cut forehead.
Tom Ferrie
Did your great-grandfather have any children?
Fern Britton
I’ve never been so certain about anything in my life. I want to be a coach. Or a manager. I’m not sure which.
Steve Claridge
The lads really ran their socks into the ground.
Alex Ferguson
Gary always weighed up his options, especially when he had no choice.
Kevin Keegan, Radio 5 Live
Beckenbauer really has gambled all his eggs.
Ron Atkinson
That’s twice now he [Terry Phelan] has got between himself and the goal.
Brian Marwood
To play Holland, you have to play the Dutch.
Ruud Gullit
Britain’s last gold medal was a bronze in 1952 in Helsinki.
Nigel Starmer-Smith
I never make predictions and I never will.
Paul Gascoigne