cartoon pilot

Below are some maintenance complaints and problems made by pilots from the Australian airline QANTAS…and the rather cheeky responses the engineers and ground crew gave.


P – The problem, as logged by the pilot. S – The solution, as logged by the engineers.
 
PLeft inside main tyre almost needs replacement.
SAlmost replaced left inside main tyre.
 
PTest flight OK, except autoland very rough.
SAutoland not installed on this aircraft.
 
PSomething loose in cockpit.
SSomething tightened in cockpit.
 
PEvidence of leak on right main landing gear.
SEvidence removed.
 
PDME volume unbelievably loud.
SVolume set to more believable level.
 
PFriction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
SThat’s what they are there for.
 
PIFF inoperative.
SIFF always inoperative in OFF mode.
 
PSuspected crack in windscreen.
SSuspect you’re right.
 
PNumber 3 engine missing.
SEngine found on right wing after brief search.
 
PAircraft handles funny.
SAircraft warned to ‘Straighten up, Fly Right, and Be Serious.’
 
PTarget radar hums.
SReprogrammed target radar with words.
 
PMouse in cockpit.
SCat installed.